The Acid Test

What to do with the Royal Family? Let's burn them all ... but in the mean time...

My meandering mind drifted down a slightly peculiar path a few days ago that started with a day dream involving an Ak-Tor I rather fancy would cheerfully crawl across hot coals to slaver over.

In my day dream we were stranded alone in a jungle (hot and steamy). The day dream was rather successful (pleasing) and has been filed away to be drawn upon another day when the mood takes me.

In the mean time and still slightly ruffled by William's stupid little outburst of stupidity I've got to wondering if there were any members of the royal familiy I'd not be totally horrified to be stranded anywhere with in a situation of mutual co-dependency.

To make it fair I've taken them at the height of their powers rather than as the necessarily are now.

Her Maj. - well she knows how to do what's necessary, but how flexible and
adaptable can she be? FAIL

Prince Phil. - war service suggests certain
physical and personal attributes that would be useful. PASS

Chas - a
jungle would be quite wet enough already. FAIL

Camilly - we might be on
the way out. Someone needs to know how to organise the party. PASS

Willy
- moron! FAIL

Harry - mililtary training AND up for a laugh. PASS

Andrew - we'll have to travel light. FAIL

Beatrice/Eugenie - we
won't need any additional dead wood. FAIL

Neddy - the marine drop out?
you've got to be fucking joking. FAIL

Neddy's wife and kid - who? FAIL

Anne - someone will have to keep us in order. A shoe in. PASS

Anne's Hubby - semi-detatched. Can't count. FAIL

Peter - brawn. PASS

Zara - too much of a distraction for any men, thereby too much of an
annoyance for any woman. Reluctant FAIL

Madge's Son - practical skills.
PASS

Madge's Daughter - window dressing. FAIL

The REST - they
DON'T COUNT. Collective FAIL

Now. The real problem is this. If you applied the same test to YOUR extended family, what proportion would you PASS? Hmmm?