Are you a school teacher stuck in a monstrous traffic jam on the way to the airport to catch the plane that will take you to sunnier or more interesting parts for the duration of this forthcoming 'half-term' holiday?
If so, good. And I hope your uber-expensive holiday turns out to be a miserable week from beginning to end.
May your flight be over crowded and delayed five hours at take off. May your airline send your baggage to the wrong continent and your tour operator fail to provide a courtesy coach for you at the other end of your flight. May you find yourself staying in a cockroach infested partial development on a building site within sight but not walking distance of a beach, with an algae encrusted swimming pool, surly staff who insist on talking foreign, pour drinks over you at any opportunity, spit in your food as they carry it to the table and then stand at your elbow until you tip them.
I hope your mattress is made of concrete and your walls are made of cardboard. I hope you discover that the roof leaks, during an unseasonal torrential downpour, and find rabid bats roost in your (communal) bathroom.
May you suffer influenza and dysentery then find yourself the lust object of a deranged 7ft tall transsexual nurse.
Apart from that, have a nice time.
Don't forget to write; just a few words on the back of a post card will do. I'm the woman at home teaching my child maths while you're away in some hopefully rat infested holiday spot or other. When you come back to 'work' do try to get the children back into 'school' mode and up to speed within a fortnight of school's resumption.
After all there are not that many weeks until the end of this term and the two week holiday they have over Christmas and New Year, not including the winding-down period during which they learn nausea-inducing nerve jangling ditties mistakenly referred to as Modern Christmas Carols and carry out other pointless winding down type and strictly non-educational activities.
And let us not lose sight of the fact that once they do return at the start of the New Year there will be all the post-Present receiving excitement to wean them off before you can settle them back into a receptive frame of mind; do try to accomplish that well ahead of the essential pre-half-term winding down period so that they are all in the right mood to enjoy their holiday totally and so need a good week or so to get back into stride for the second half of the term.
Are you beginning to get my point yet?
These next five terms are crucial and you're having a lousy holiday on the Costa del Rodent, or so I hope.
Love and Kisses, Hen
PS sorry to harp on about this but, would you believe it: blogger's spell checker might not recognise Sri Lanka but it has not problems with Transsexual. How frightfully er, something or other that is.
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