I think I've been Bar-Wicked

Brian has a moustache that makes him look like a fool. Under that circumstance a wise man would take particular care not to supply the world with the conclusive proof. But the honourable thing isn't to deflect culpability in the fool-stakes.

While preparing the chook for the oven this evening I happened to express puzzlement that in the vast amount of time which has passed since the job of England manager became available the name of Gerard Houllier hasn't been bandied by anyone.

Hanson might choke on his Haggis at the mention of the man's name but is he really a less plausible candidate than the Handsome One's partner in punditry crime on MOTD? Does his track record not stand up to comparison with those of most if not virtually all the names on the fantasy future England manager list?

Now it turns out I was being foolish beyond belief and proving (if needed) that I am a girlie and therefore know absolutely nothing about football: Houllier's name is on the FAE's shortlist. After saying one more thing about football, and fantasy future England football managers, I am going to shut up on the subject - at least until there is something more I want to say.

If I was being all girlie on the subject of the England manager I would have a shortlist of one and a half and it would comprise Jose Mourinho and Big Phil and most definitely not M. Houllier or the neurotic Spaniard who took over from him at Anfield. Clear?

PS. When Jose arrived at Chelsea after the departure of that rather sweet little Italian the old Sports song Black Stockings for Chelsea acquired a new and very special resonance. I shall go off and listen to it again, now, I think.