Poor Baby

Micky mouse was a sad case, bearing a close resemblance to a very well known British comedy actor, but with worse teeth.

He had a rather peculiar habit of naming the anthropomorphic chocolate confectionery, and caring when they were purchased for consumption. He worried over the fate of the soft toys we sell.

Hmm.

Young Micky forged an incomprehensible alliance with a couple of other deeply odd employees of similar age. They liked (and still like) Micky because he'd fork out so they could ALL go to the cinema etc together.

Then he developed tooth ache and one of my colleagues discovered that His Parents Had Never Taken Him To A Dentist. She made him an appointment and the dentist, sensing his fortune being guaranteed, given the state of the young man's teeth, has taken Micky under his wing. She (the colleague) and with only self-interest slightly in line has taken Micky in as a lodger. It has got him out from under the malign influence of his mother who had a habit of co-opting his pay cheques to pay for satellite TV etc.

Now Micky has a girlfriend. My colleague has missed a trick. Shortly before Poor Sod left he roped Micky Mouse into a certain extracurricular activity. This brought Micky into the sphere of influence of Poor Sod's mother in law who has two other daughters to ship out to the first available unsuspecting victim. The youngest one is sorted with one of our other employees but the middle one, who has severe epilepsy and was got pregnant at the age of 15 by a boyfriend (allegedly while she was either fitting or spaced out on her meds, the story does waver slightly). The baby is now about six months old and someone's got to take responsibility.

Enter stage left our Micky Mouse. Just like the fly blithely drifting into a spider's web. This is a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire. Everybody can see it except Micky. He has his faults, but if I could rescue him I would. Right now he thinks he's in heaven. And he isn't even getting his leg over because "that wouldn't be right yet".

Bloody hell. All this and honour too?