The Demise of the Pink Palace

Should be doing this in the style of a Death Notice, of course. Ah, well. Live with it.

The gist of the matter, however, is that I've brought down the Pink Palace. The mattress, sleeping bag and pillow case are in the wash, along with oddments of clothing. The books are back on the shelves, the videos, DVDs, games &etc are all in a pile for madam to properly tidy up. Several soft toys have been gathered and deposited on the bed upstairs, a plastic bag has been filled with bits of paper and other detritus of her Summer in Residence. All in all it wasn't too bad which is more than can be said for the bits of the house I can only now reach with duster and vacuum cleaner.

The cat hasn't yet learned the terrible truth. He's been in a foul mood all week anyway so we probably won't notice a mood shift when he does put in an appearance.

In the meantime

The Pink Palace is down and the cat is trying to suck up to me by way of getting sympathy. Doesn't he realise I don't like him? Without actually being a 'cat person' I normally quite like cats and I'm normally happy to have them about me but this one is an obstreperous little shit and he's cost us a small fortune in vet bills. He isn't even ours but his previous owners, who were neighbors, moved town and left him behind. I'm not surprised. He has a little girlfriend, a kitten that arrived in the area about four months ago. She's almost completely black and still wide eyed. Until a couple of days she'd fall through the cat flap and take on startled look of The Doctor's new assistant on first stepping into the Tardis.

But she's finally got the hang of the big indoor space the other side of the little door and made her way upstairs. She's crawled under the bath and got stuck, attacked the net curtain's in the Offspring's bedroom, tipped over the clothes airer, clambered into the fireplace and trailed soot over the carpet and expored the Pink Palace.

The Feline Girlfriend loves it when we do that gardening thing. She'll crawl into a pile of cuttings then trail them about like MacDuff on his way to the rout, except going in circles. Today and tomorrow we have to Panic. That's official. Not one thing's been packed. Between now and 3:00 every last required thing must be identified, sourced, labelled and packed. I'm not going to panic yet. Instead I'm going to procrastinate. Tomorrow I'm going to do panic. And the hair cutting thing.

The Pink Palace

The tent has been up and brought back down (so that the off can watch Top Cat over a bowl of nutrition free breakfast cereal). It is The Pink Palace. When it came out of the box it emerged ground sheet side first, and that's black. Then the rest of it emerged, in wave after wave of pink nylon. And not just any pink, but a truly, deeply, madly Shocking Pink.

Poor dear. I mean her father. After putting the damn thing up he needed a drink, some paracetamol and a lie down. He's going to have to do this every day, too. What an excellent choice that tent was.

Breaking Camp for the last time

Sadly or otherwise this is likely to be my last report on indoor camping activities. One of the two poles, which had started to split a couple of days ago has now gone completely. The Great Fat So and So was in a grim angry mood when I walked in from work tonight. Rather than be philosophical he's outraged, but mostly that the Offspring didn't tell him about this before he'd started to put the damn thing up.

Also the cat isn't responsible for the shredded roll mat. That's down to poor quality. And the sleeping bag really isn't good enough either. What a rip off. He's going back to the store, which I think was the local Co-op to try and get his money back. I might see if I can pick up a new one inZVille.

I'm having to trek across country next week to get the offspring what supplies she needs for her week away at camp starting Sunday. No reason why I can't pick a tent while I'm at it. Indeed such a purchase would seem entirely appropriate.

Probably loads more that hasn't stuck or is hiding from sight right now. My tummy hurts and I can hardly keep my eyes open after lugging boxes of wine about while the shop floor staff dithered. Ah, that was something else I wanted to get off my chest.

Reunion

The tent and the missing tent pole have been reunited. Normal service has been resumed.

While I'm on about services I've got to be up at some ungodly hour tomorrow to get the offspring to Scubs for a Dawn Service which is something to do with this being the Movement's centenary year. After the service the more important matter of bacon butties will be addressed. Then I've got to get her changed and elsewhere to go swimming. Then I've got to get my shit together to go to work, for the afternoon/evening shift.

Breaking camp

Last night the offspring had to beat an unwelcome retreat to the bed upstairs. In dismantling her tent for the day yesterday she mislaid one of her tent's two poles. I was at work so know what ensued second hand but I gather the fruitless search for the pole led to her father losing his rag and the offspring being rather bruised (not, I hasten to say in the literal sense.) Now she's watching fellatio jokes on TV which is very nearly certainly something she shouldn't be doing. Yet according to her Rowan Atkinson is being silly, not rude, so I gather most of it is flying over her head.

I'm horribly hung over and sluggish today. I've done nothing but push a couple of loads through the washing machine. The floors are grotty, the bathroom demands vigorous scrubbing, the beds need changing and I can't be bothered. Hopefully this binge will come to an end soon. I much prefer not having a head full of cotton wool.

Seasonal Loose End Activities (Part 3)

The offspring and her El Cheapo tent are still an item. It is a dome tent. It came in a box together with a bag of pegs a square of nylon to lace over the ventilation webbing at its summit, a roll mat a sleeping bag and an air pillow. Not a bad buy for £4.99.

Except one of the two rods has now given way under the stress of Holding the Dome Tent Up, and the cat has now shredded the roll mat. It (the cat) did this in a fit of pique it seems when the offspring inadvertently rolled back onto it in her sleep, thereby trespassing on the cat's domain. Now that the roll mat is in several pieces he has reverted to kipping in the neighbors garden.

Good riddance and here's hoping he stays there. Little shit bag. That camping set was expensive - for something we hoped would at least be durable enough to last the summer holidays pitched in the living room.

Seasonal Loose End Update

The tent went back up yesterday evening. The cat, which had been outside for most of the day - a period of time very closely approximating the time the tent was down - came back in, got in every one's way and spent the rest of the evening indulging in a monumental sulk on the dining room table.

This particular piece of furniture doubles as my desk so the notes I took at yesterday's meeting are littered with cat hair. He didn't actually sit on my notes. Instead he sprawled elsewhere but swished his tail across them expressively.

During the course of the night he must have given in. Right now the offspring is wrapped up her sleeping bag on the ground sheet, while the cat is curled up comfortably on the roll mat which he has clearly succeeded in manoeuvring her off as she slept.

Brute.

'Tis the season to be at a loose end

The offspring will not be comprised; the offspring enjoy privilege. But under certain exceptional circumstances and obliquely the activities of the offspring shall be reported.

My daughter has taken up residence in a tent. My daughter is 9 years old. This isn't a problem because the tent is pitched in our 'front room'.

This is a good thing in view of the continued lack of a functional vacuum cleaner as it means the floor is mostly covered most of the time. The tent does come down but only during those hours between her deigning to rise and agreeing reluctantly to go to bed.

This is a bad thing as the tent, when erect, obstructs the view of the television for those using any of the seating in the same room.

This isn't a problem as far as my daughter is concerned: she's pitched her tent so that it opens in the direction of the television set. She has the game console wired up; and the PC plugged in and sited right in front of the tent opening. The stack of videos/DVD/games is strategically positioned too.

This is a win/win camp site situation as far as the daughter is concerned.