And then we'll all pay for her accommodation

Moira Ryan is a 69 year old woman who by her own admission is obese. On the other hand she has worked and paid the taxes that fund the National Health Service. That latter fact gives her the right to be an unhealthy weight and have the the hip replacement required by her paid for by everyone. Her local heath trust wouldn't take forward her case and operate until she'd lost a little of that unhealthy excess weight.

Did she diet and thereby save a few bob against a holiday she'd be better able to enjoy when lighter on her feet and with her hip duly replaced. No. She put her house at risk to pay to go to Malta to have the operation NOW! so she has a new hip that's better able to bear all that fat.

She's now pursuing the health service through the courts to recover the eight grand she forked out for her trip to the Med. and I rather hope she is successful as this on balance will be the lesser of two evils - the other being this fat woman next throwing herself on the mercy of the state for funded accommodation, her house having been repossessed.

Happy days

So now I know what a beatific smile looks like ... it looks like the soppy, spaced out expression on the face of Senior Frustrated Novelist. She's off and for the last three weeks of her time with us she's going to endure torment from Yoda, miserable customers, cretinous head office folk, unreliable suppliers, decrepit technology, thieves, incontinent children, fractious management and nit-pickery from the Paper-Shuffler-in-Chief and absolutely none of it will disturb her.

And for this she's going to be paid about 50% more than she earns at present, with benefits added on.

You might be thinking that the exit interview will be quite brief. You'd be wrong. Exit interviews might lead to challenges being laid down and that would make everyone's life even more uncomfortable than it already is (see above) and no body can face that so, no exit interview at all.

The Big Swinging Dick was in fine fettle to day which possibly means that his errant wife has returned to the fold. If only he'd binned the Daily Express and read a real newspaper, or better yet had a chat with a french man (say Sarko) he might understand that a much needed wife's return is a mixed blessing at best and a recipe for nothing other than continued domestic discord in all probability.

More on Micky Mouse

Does Micky Mouse exist any more.

Ours is busy qualifying to be a scout leader. These days that entails proving he knows how to put up a dome tent, tie a reef knot, purchase a ready-made portable barbecue and negotiate the NHS Direct telephone system menu.

As mentioned previously, he is revelling in the glorious state of Boyfriend-dom. He has a girlfriend. Senior Frustrated Novelist mentioned this to the handmaiden during the week when the three of us were together in the office. You might have thought I was being unnecessarily cruel, but this might put things in perspective.

The Handmaiden's response was a pained, drawn out "Whooo?"

Before Senior Frustrated Novelist could respond I asked the Handmaiden to think of a mother with a track record of off-loading her daughters onto the first unsuspecting, unwitting block to hove into view, with a vulnerable young daughter with a burdensome child of her own? The Handmaiden scored a hole in one (but didn't get the drinks in).