There's always Gross Humiliation

A normal, adequate, average couple would do anything not to be in the situation we're in.

I'm not on sure ground with theology and dogma but Pride, I believe, was one of the deadly sins (or at least an excess of pride). Now I don't know why the Church had a particular problem with an excess of pride but from a practical level it amounts to an exhortation not to cut ones nose off to spite ones face and that seems perfectly reasonable to me.

And that is why a week from Sunday I will bury my pride and self respect and let the neighbors on both sides help us by removing the several skip loads of complete and utter crap we've allowed to accumulate on our property.

Old bicycles, old shopping trolleys, the detritus of DIY projects undertaken by previous owners, clapped out toys, half baked gardening projects, a build up of garden waste and the crap that was buried in the ancient past.

We've just sat on our hands and looked the other way and now someone else is going to fix the problem, because they can't stand living next door to it any longer. I can't say I blame them for taking action: I wouldn't like to live next door to us. And if the boot were on the other foot and I had the wherewithal I'd do exactly what they're about to do too.

He's in hog heaven over this. It is another one of those extraordinary win win situations he has the capacity to engineer. I hate living like this. I do what I can to address the problem. He wades in when he sees me getting stuck in and makes things worse. I get ground down and give up. Things get worse. I rail at him until it is clear he won't lift a finger to fix one problem at a time. I do what I can to address the problems...

He knows that I hate living like this and feel humiliated by living like this. And he knows I will feel humiliated that a couple of kids and their problems are about to step in and sort out our mess. And by humiliating me and belittling me he'll reduce me and make me just that little bit less able to resist. Domestic violence comes in many forms but all with the same objective.

He must think this is absolutely perfect.