The Brazilian

What a kerfuffle over Dida's actions at this past week's European Champions League match!

For the benefit of the uninitiated Dida is the goal keeper at AC Milan, which is an Italian football team - and as you've probably already gathered from the fact that he has only one name and of four letters at that, this man is a South American. This past week (or so? time does fly when you're being this amused) Milan played Celtic, one half of the notorious Glasgow 'Old Firm'.

As the match reached its conclusion with the Scottish underdogs ahead an idiot fan of theirs somehow got onto the pitch and biffed Dida. The goalie gave chase as the fan made a dash from the scene of the crime (in front of a practically full house crowd not to mention a television audience). After a short sprint he tumbled theatrically and fell the ground clutching his head. He was eventually stretchered off, holding an ice-pack to the injured part of his anatomy.

Inevitably Celtic has been punished for the behaviour of their fan, what's more surprising is that Dida has also been punished for his antics.

Footballers in general, whether top level pros or Sunday league hackers have a fine tradition of, as one FIFA official put it today in respect of Dida, 'attempting to con the referee'. South Americans are probably no worse than the rest but they are top quality when it comes to conning the ref (but then they're also top quality when it comes to the ancillary business of, er, kicking a round ball and putting it in the back of the net more often than the opponents).
That's why the outrage up and down this little island, and the official reaction announced tonight, are so perplexing.

Diego Maradonna is feted, a flawed genius with the emphasis firmly on the genius bit - with the drugs, the booze, the sleaze and the cheating (aka Hand of God) conveniently overlooked.

More bizarrely and appositely there's the case of Dida's fellow Brazilian, a 'gentleman' called Rivaldo. During the World Cup before last which was held in the far east Rivaldo disgraced himself more spectacularly than Dida managed in Glasgow. Having seen his side awarded a corner Rivaldo made his way over to take it. A player from the opposing team hoofed the ball in his direction - it hit him somewhere about the midriff whereupon our Brazilian hero fell to the turf clutching his injured head. In front of a staggering world wide audience that measured in tens of millions if not more he made a fool of himself in a way few people have achieved either before or since. The camera angle I saw the incident on was perfectly positioned to capture the idiocy of his behaviour.

We, the audience, sniggered. Officialdom reacted. The player hoofing the ball was punished, Brazil went on to win the match.

I think Dida has every reason to feel confused if not outraged by the ban handed out to him today.