Not everything bad is bad

The entire page three is given over to the paper's latest attempt to whip Englishmen up into that much sought after lather of moral indignation and outrage.

Usually dastardly Johnny Foreigner (you can tell him readily enough, he 'talks foreign') looms large ... and it is frequently the case that Jonny Foreigner is a Frog or a Hun, a fat Belgian with a preposterous moustache, a Dutch Pot-Fiend or some form of greasy Mediterranean layabout. If I've left any one's pet national stereotype out, I apologise.

Any ho, Johnny Foreigner cannot be entirely relied upon and so the debate requires a fall back position: I give you the Health and Safety Inspector.

Christmas hasn't yet been cancelled (this isn't entirely a good news story) but those dreadful 'illuminations' are being put to the sword across the country. A small if inadvertent victory for good taste. Don't kid your self that common sense was sacrificed in the heat of battle - she died long ago.