Silence isn't always golden

Finished work on Saturday night, exhausted and exultant. Done. And at five pm that had looked a faint prospect. As I came down the road afterwards I realised that finally, belatedly, my blood pressure was starting to climb.

Sunday was the day the neighbors shouldered arms, in a manner of speaking and dealt on our behalf, but for their own benefit, with some of the mountain of crap that has accumulated. Now in our own defence not all of it is crap we've brought onto the property and dumped. A fair old proportion of it is either the detritus abandoned by the previous owners (a rudder, some piping, old cans of paint - and possibly worse, and other stuff too) or the consequences of the garden being a jungle when we moved in. That we've made little progress toward setting things right is a fair accusation. I put my hands up to it and the related charge that we've added to the accumulation of unattractive garden non-accoutrement's.

Up early despite having put away three bottles of Hobgoblin (after being a good girl for so many days in a row, damn it) I made a start. Several bags of sundry crap and the two old bicycles (ours) and the microwave (ours) and a few other bits and pieces have now gone the way of all things.

The garden hasn't been cleared but it looks a hell of a lot better. The hillock that I created when I was trying to dig out that post has now settled and is starting to green over. The stuff that is turning it green isn't exactly lawn, but it isn't nettle or bind weed or thistle or morning glory (our particular nightmare). Instead it is rather fluffy and gentle under foot and if I could live with the hillock I'd be inclined to leave things as they are and continue to allow nature to take its course.

If he'd thought yesterday was bad today was much worse. I was briskly efficient. Almost like a proper mother and housewife.

Off to town we (the offspring and I) went while he was at work. Our objective was to replace her dead tent so that she can go back to indoor camping. Also on my list were casual shoes for her camp next week, school shoes for the coming term, a couple of pairs of jeans (again for camp as well as general wear) and almost more important than all the rest some replacement 'stoppers' for the ends of the curtain rail across the patio sliding doors.

At some time the original stoppers went west, since which time there's been a serious chance of the 8ft drop and heavy (and lined) curtains sailing clear off the track if the curtains are opened with too much vigour.

In fact, thanks to Woolworths the trip cost less than it might have. The tent (an extravagantly pink confection) didn't cost much and I got the two pairs of jeans I wanted (plus a top as one was a set) from the reduced rail. Not only that but I spotted some net rail holders and realised they were Just What I Needed for the window by the front door. The school shoes were expensive, but they always are as I have never skimped in that department no matter how tough things have to be everywhere else.

I did stop and the chemist and by someClinique stuff for myself as well as a book, but the book was picked up in the discount store so it was a bit of a bargain. We had lunch at McDonalds which is shocking I know, but we don't have one in town and rarely get out so it doesn't happen too often.

We didn't beat him home so had to display our wares (I hid the skin care). He was duly impressed. I needed him to fit the curtain rail stoppers as I'm not tall enough. Then dragooned him into getting out into the garden.

Our council-provided 'green bin' is now absolutely choc-a-block. Not only have I cut back the forsythia but I've also gathered up some earlier garden waste and put that in too. Short of clambering up and doing like a grape-presser nothing more is going in that thing. So another couple of plastic sacks have been filled up. When I'm on a roll there ain't no stopping me. The paved area has been swept over, but for the bit that is continually wet because we have an overflow from the tank in the loft which his nibs won't go up and fix. I cut back the fuchsia which overhangs the paving. Not heavily but enough to make it look a lot better, and I pruned the 'thing' that overhangs the roses so that they are set off better.

I wasn't finished with him yet, either. I had him raising bicycle seats, doing carpentry and providing necessary support to me while I put up the new curtain in the window by the front door.

Still the fucker didn't bugger off to bed until after half past ten. What do I have to do.