Yet another Yoda thing

Among the many drawbacks of knowing and working with Yoda is an increasing familiarity with the tone and content of the Daily Express. Yoda dines voraciously on an undiluted diet of Diana conspiracies and the McCann saga, and the Daily Express is the conveyor belt for such trash.

Yoda has developed a number of work avoidance strategies. She has a remarkable capacity for trivia and left undirected can happily spend an entire shift worrying over something that makes not one penny's difference to the bottom line provided the effort results in something visible and measurable as an outcome. She'll cheerfully spend at least an hour of her shift on personal matters, when she'd tell tales and engineer the suspension of anyone less senior behaving in the same manner.

Notwithstanding the warning signs about the store that the telephone system of for business calls only she hide away in the warehouse and call all her family of an evening and as noted before she'll send staff off site to run errands for her.

In addition to speculating over the McCann business and worrying about Poor Diana there's what's rivetting on television to be gone over - a particular favourite is Strictly Come Mincing, but pretty much anything involving minor celebrities will do.

The next thing to do before getting on with any actual work is go over every minor illness and ailment she, her mother, and her husband are currently suffering from, with side references on slow days to something or other her strapping once nearly was seriously ill with. Grand daughter progress report has to be filed and if someone she likes is in the office their ailments, and those of their family must be raked over. This is hard work, and requires time to do properly. On a good day that can take Yoda right up to the time it is safe for her to hide out in the warehouse.

If really pushed she'll put out kitchen roll. That's her speciality on the shop floor. Kitchen towel and loo roll. When it comes to hard yards on the shop floor there's nobody like Yoda, especially down the paper products aisle.